part 1

It was one week ago today that it crashed down.

I don’t mean to be dramatic in my posts, but my therapist says that I am a very emotional person. I have to agree. When I feel hurt, it REALLY hurts. On the other side of the coin, when I feel happy, I am ECSTATIC. It’s an emotional roller coaster that I have to take because that’s who I am. But let’s be honest, wouldn’t you rather the roller coaster over the merry-go-round?

Most of you who are reading this are here because you read my first blog and appreciated it for what it was: emotions. Just raw emotions laid out through an account of my panic attacks on my wedding day. I cannot thank you all enough for loving me so much as to send me kind words about my post. Thank you all so much.
That being said, in the end, everything was just a big misunderstanding.

Assumptions were made on my part on how my family perceived the blog. My instincts are usually right on, but in this case, I actually received nothing but love from everyone. I did, however, hurt my mother because I said that she did not help me plan the wedding. At the time, she didn’t get the overall message, but now she understands. I think she doesn’t like the idea of me sharing my life on the Internet, but if I’m comfortable with it, I know she will be in time.

That being said, I still feel guilty about the whole thing. The guilt just comes from knowing that I made someone upset. But I have to mention what my therapist told me: feeling guilty about something shows that you care.

So, this is a new start. Yes, I can still feel guilty about my first blog, but I have to keep writing how I feel. Like I said, this is a roller coaster. It has to go up again sometime, right?