Have you ever had one of those nights where no matter how are you try, sleep just never comes?
I'm feeling that tonight.
Maybe it's because I had Jell-o. For some reason, Jell-o makes me an insomniac. Just a theory.
Since I'm up so late (or early?) I figured I would scour the great depths of the net to find a good song of the day.
I came up with this one because I've been really feeling 'June gloom' lately, so I wanted something with a sunny disposition. I chose this little ditty.
In the Sun by She & Him
I also chose it because I love Zooey Deschanel so much it hurts. Enjoy!
Sarah xoxo
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
New Computer
I'm back from Cape Breton! It's good to be home to the beautiful sunshiny twenty degree weather. It was sitting at about seven degrees in Port Morien the entire week with nothing but grey skies. However, nothing about that trip was grey (well, maybe just one thing.)
I took my laptop with my on my trip only to have broken it two days in. I was lugging my computer from one room to the next when I suddenly slipped. I had two choices: 1) hold on to the computer and risk hurting myself (I slipped on water, so I could have broken something) or 2) brace myself and let the computer fall. I chose the latter.
I turned on the monitor to find nothing but swooshing colours squiggling left to right, right to left. It was fried. I could see about 15% of my desktop, which was just enough for me to back up my files. Thank god! Could you imagine losing all your files? I'm terrible at backing things up, but now I have a copy of everything just in case something else ever happens.
In the end, I bought a new computer. It's an HP (I've never had one because they've always been so expensive) and I love it! My computer was almost 5 years old, which is ancient in this day and age (I don't know why, nothing was wrong with it) but it's nice to have 500GB of hard drive as opposed to my old 50GB (it will seriously make a difference with all the movies and tv shows I've been downloading lately.)
I know this was a very boring post, but I just wanted to share my frustrations of having lost something that I rely on in my every day life (if only for a week.)
Sarah
I took my laptop with my on my trip only to have broken it two days in. I was lugging my computer from one room to the next when I suddenly slipped. I had two choices: 1) hold on to the computer and risk hurting myself (I slipped on water, so I could have broken something) or 2) brace myself and let the computer fall. I chose the latter.
I turned on the monitor to find nothing but swooshing colours squiggling left to right, right to left. It was fried. I could see about 15% of my desktop, which was just enough for me to back up my files. Thank god! Could you imagine losing all your files? I'm terrible at backing things up, but now I have a copy of everything just in case something else ever happens.
In the end, I bought a new computer. It's an HP (I've never had one because they've always been so expensive) and I love it! My computer was almost 5 years old, which is ancient in this day and age (I don't know why, nothing was wrong with it) but it's nice to have 500GB of hard drive as opposed to my old 50GB (it will seriously make a difference with all the movies and tv shows I've been downloading lately.)
I know this was a very boring post, but I just wanted to share my frustrations of having lost something that I rely on in my every day life (if only for a week.)
Sarah
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Trip to Cape Breton
I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a while but things have been quite 'full.'
I'm currently in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia visiting my parents. After this whole ordeal with'zmy mother and my previous blog, I decided it was time to to over for a visit. I talked with my husband about it and it said that it was alright with him (he is just wonderful.) Now, how am I going to get there...by myself.
You see, since I've had Panic Disorder, flying on an airplane (or rather, travelling in general) has been quite a task indeed. The planning, the packing, the driving to the airport, the waiting at the airport, the flying, the arrival: it's a big deal.
I never used to be this way, you know. I loved trekking off to far away destinations with my little carry on bag with nothing but my wallet, passport, camera and ipod. Taking off and landing were the best part! Now, if there is the slightest bit of turbulance I feel like I'm going to 'zookie' myself (that's the trifecta of crapping, peeing and vomitting - nice, huh?)
Luckily for me, my grandmother decided that it was a perfect time to head out east as well. I am so happy she did. We are having such a good time! Everything has been just pure bliss. I didn't even feel the slightest bit panicked on the airplane and to top it all off, I took my first direct flight to Sydney on WestJet. It was seriously the best flight ever (if you are considering travelling, go with WestJet since the seats are huge, the drinks are free and the smiles are big.)
So far, Mom has taken Gram and I to an outlet mall where I helped them pick out some sassy and 'in style' fashions. (It's really interesting to see the clothing taste in your elders.) My Gram and Mom are just so cute together shopping. They always make me smile. And today we even went to the Casino. I lost $10, but I did play my first ever hand at Blackjack (and what do you know, I got 21 in my one and only hand.)
This visit has also allowed me time to see my favourite Aunt on my Dad's side of the family (and only Aunt on his side) Irma. Auntie Irma is just a peach! She tells the most crude jokes, bakes the most delicious sweets and has the kindest heart. Seriously, she would give a kidney to a stranger, that's how fantastic a human being she is. I love telling her jokes and just seeing her laugh; it really makes my day.
I'm coming home on Wednesday night and am very much looking forward to seeing Greg and Jordy. I think this month has just generally been hard for Greg and I because of my PD and I think me going on this trip helped cool off the steam. (Let's just say that I copped out of going to a concert that Greg was dying to see.) I still feel incredibly guilty about it, but I know I will make it up to him in the future.
I just wanted to mention one last thing. Greg and I are having our second year wedding anniversary on June 7th and I cannot for the life of me figure out what to do. Can anyone suggest something?
Sarah xoxo
I'm currently in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia visiting my parents. After this whole ordeal with'zmy mother and my previous blog, I decided it was time to to over for a visit. I talked with my husband about it and it said that it was alright with him (he is just wonderful.) Now, how am I going to get there...by myself.
You see, since I've had Panic Disorder, flying on an airplane (or rather, travelling in general) has been quite a task indeed. The planning, the packing, the driving to the airport, the waiting at the airport, the flying, the arrival: it's a big deal.
I never used to be this way, you know. I loved trekking off to far away destinations with my little carry on bag with nothing but my wallet, passport, camera and ipod. Taking off and landing were the best part! Now, if there is the slightest bit of turbulance I feel like I'm going to 'zookie' myself (that's the trifecta of crapping, peeing and vomitting - nice, huh?)
Luckily for me, my grandmother decided that it was a perfect time to head out east as well. I am so happy she did. We are having such a good time! Everything has been just pure bliss. I didn't even feel the slightest bit panicked on the airplane and to top it all off, I took my first direct flight to Sydney on WestJet. It was seriously the best flight ever (if you are considering travelling, go with WestJet since the seats are huge, the drinks are free and the smiles are big.)
So far, Mom has taken Gram and I to an outlet mall where I helped them pick out some sassy and 'in style' fashions. (It's really interesting to see the clothing taste in your elders.) My Gram and Mom are just so cute together shopping. They always make me smile. And today we even went to the Casino. I lost $10, but I did play my first ever hand at Blackjack (and what do you know, I got 21 in my one and only hand.)
This visit has also allowed me time to see my favourite Aunt on my Dad's side of the family (and only Aunt on his side) Irma. Auntie Irma is just a peach! She tells the most crude jokes, bakes the most delicious sweets and has the kindest heart. Seriously, she would give a kidney to a stranger, that's how fantastic a human being she is. I love telling her jokes and just seeing her laugh; it really makes my day.
I'm coming home on Wednesday night and am very much looking forward to seeing Greg and Jordy. I think this month has just generally been hard for Greg and I because of my PD and I think me going on this trip helped cool off the steam. (Let's just say that I copped out of going to a concert that Greg was dying to see.) I still feel incredibly guilty about it, but I know I will make it up to him in the future.
I just wanted to mention one last thing. Greg and I are having our second year wedding anniversary on June 7th and I cannot for the life of me figure out what to do. Can anyone suggest something?
Sarah xoxo
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Macy Gray - Beauty in this World
This song inspires me to look closer at the beautiful things in the world.
Macy Gray - Beauty in the World
Macy Gray - Beauty in the World
Trip & Gram
For the past few months, I've been thinking about taking a trip to Cape Breton to visit my parents. I consulted with Greg who basically said that if the price is right that I should go for it. So after last week's blog debacle, I decided now was the time to go! (Plus, Westjet had a sale where the round trip cost would be under $300. How could I say no?)
The plan was for me to leave this Saturday, but then my grandma threw me a curve ball and asked if she could come. I'm so excited! Now not only do I not have to travel alone, I get to go with my gram!
You see, my grandmother has been pretty ill since January. She has diabetes and was not really taking care of herself. It was a big scare because she only has one kidney (she lost the other to Cancer a few years ago) and it had started to fail. Not good. Then, she told me that she has a baseball sized tumor above her only kidney and that she will have to have surgery to get it out. She was expecting to have surgery within the next few days, but the Doctor has given her permission to travel with me for the week and postpone it until June. I am so happy to have my Gram with me on this trip because she has only been out to see my parents once and does not like to travel alone.
I'm very excited to be visiting my parents and I am optimistic that I can get there without any issues.
Wish me luck!
xoxo
The plan was for me to leave this Saturday, but then my grandma threw me a curve ball and asked if she could come. I'm so excited! Now not only do I not have to travel alone, I get to go with my gram!
You see, my grandmother has been pretty ill since January. She has diabetes and was not really taking care of herself. It was a big scare because she only has one kidney (she lost the other to Cancer a few years ago) and it had started to fail. Not good. Then, she told me that she has a baseball sized tumor above her only kidney and that she will have to have surgery to get it out. She was expecting to have surgery within the next few days, but the Doctor has given her permission to travel with me for the week and postpone it until June. I am so happy to have my Gram with me on this trip because she has only been out to see my parents once and does not like to travel alone.
I'm very excited to be visiting my parents and I am optimistic that I can get there without any issues.
Wish me luck!
xoxo
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Song of the day
Although everyone's tastes are different, I wanted to share my favourite song of the day. Music is literally the greatest thing there is to feel happy when your in a rut.
Today's song of the day is 'Breathe Me' by Sia. I first heard this song when I saw the series finale of Six Feet Under (one of the greatest series of the 2000's.) If you haven't checked out SFU, please do so. Dark comedies are universally great.
This song is perfect to start off my blog because it's about being alone and needing someone. Enjoy!
Sia- Breathe Me
Today's song of the day is 'Breathe Me' by Sia. I first heard this song when I saw the series finale of Six Feet Under (one of the greatest series of the 2000's.) If you haven't checked out SFU, please do so. Dark comedies are universally great.
This song is perfect to start off my blog because it's about being alone and needing someone. Enjoy!
Sia- Breathe Me
part 1
It was one week ago today that it crashed down.
I don’t mean to be dramatic in my posts, but my therapist says that I am a very emotional person. I have to agree. When I feel hurt, it REALLY hurts. On the other side of the coin, when I feel happy, I am ECSTATIC. It’s an emotional roller coaster that I have to take because that’s who I am. But let’s be honest, wouldn’t you rather the roller coaster over the merry-go-round?
Most of you who are reading this are here because you read my first blog and appreciated it for what it was: emotions. Just raw emotions laid out through an account of my panic attacks on my wedding day. I cannot thank you all enough for loving me so much as to send me kind words about my post. Thank you all so much.
That being said, in the end, everything was just a big misunderstanding.
Assumptions were made on my part on how my family perceived the blog. My instincts are usually right on, but in this case, I actually received nothing but love from everyone. I did, however, hurt my mother because I said that she did not help me plan the wedding. At the time, she didn’t get the overall message, but now she understands. I think she doesn’t like the idea of me sharing my life on the Internet, but if I’m comfortable with it, I know she will be in time.
That being said, I still feel guilty about the whole thing. The guilt just comes from knowing that I made someone upset. But I have to mention what my therapist told me: feeling guilty about something shows that you care.
So, this is a new start. Yes, I can still feel guilty about my first blog, but I have to keep writing how I feel. Like I said, this is a roller coaster. It has to go up again sometime, right?
I don’t mean to be dramatic in my posts, but my therapist says that I am a very emotional person. I have to agree. When I feel hurt, it REALLY hurts. On the other side of the coin, when I feel happy, I am ECSTATIC. It’s an emotional roller coaster that I have to take because that’s who I am. But let’s be honest, wouldn’t you rather the roller coaster over the merry-go-round?
Most of you who are reading this are here because you read my first blog and appreciated it for what it was: emotions. Just raw emotions laid out through an account of my panic attacks on my wedding day. I cannot thank you all enough for loving me so much as to send me kind words about my post. Thank you all so much.
That being said, in the end, everything was just a big misunderstanding.
Assumptions were made on my part on how my family perceived the blog. My instincts are usually right on, but in this case, I actually received nothing but love from everyone. I did, however, hurt my mother because I said that she did not help me plan the wedding. At the time, she didn’t get the overall message, but now she understands. I think she doesn’t like the idea of me sharing my life on the Internet, but if I’m comfortable with it, I know she will be in time.
That being said, I still feel guilty about the whole thing. The guilt just comes from knowing that I made someone upset. But I have to mention what my therapist told me: feeling guilty about something shows that you care.
So, this is a new start. Yes, I can still feel guilty about my first blog, but I have to keep writing how I feel. Like I said, this is a roller coaster. It has to go up again sometime, right?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
